Today I got asked the god-awful question every woman hates being asked... "so, how's your love life?" ARRGGHH! Woah, how did we go from awkward silence to that?! I felt my face flood red "non-existent" I squeaked. Geez. Thankfully there were only four of us in the room at the time. I hate that question. Makes me feel so inadequate. What do people think? Oh, she's too fat, that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend... maybe she doesn't like men....maybe she's just a freak.. what's wrong with her... what's right with her?
Since trying to turn over a new leaf, I have been challenged in more ways than one. But - I survived the last few days. Yesterday I wasn't sure - I'd been at work 24 minutes when I reached boiling point. I'm afraid when I get to that stage, the situation is serious and hard for me to come down from. I don't hide it very well once I'm there. It must be the crazy Sicilian blood pulsing in my veins.
Realising without my rose coloured glasses on, that John does not care for me beyond being worthy of a 'morning' and a 'goodbye'. And it has to be ok that way. The John boat might've pulled into harbour StrangeBird briefly, but the visit was fleeting and the opportunity to board has passed. Our interactions are awkward and inconsistent, and I think that's what prolongs the trauma. But I'm moving on.
SB xx
1 comment:
sorry to hear about John. Dealing with a person you like and having to see them all the time is tough. :(
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