Showing posts with label my life is a song. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my life is a song. Show all posts
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Monday, July 11, 2016
the damage
I lost a good friend of mine to cancer recently. For the past couple of years, it was a battle that defined her, and it finally ceased on 30 June 2016. I'd learned a few days before that she was in a bad way, so the bad news just kept rolling.
I've been finding it difficult to come to terms with what a loss like this means to me, and to the wider world. You see, she was quite a wonderful creature. A fiercely loyal friend, passionate, caring, protective and unafraid. She was the first real friend I had that used "fuck" a lot, and it delighted me.
She was the kind of person, who really wanted to know how you were going when she asked; she didn't waste words; she didn't cower away from her differences to make her life easier. She was courageous - even before the cancer. The world positively needs more people like her in it, as do I.
My grief has been tinged with the sourness of guilt. We lived several hundred kilometres away - and since her diagnoses she would decline my haphazard requests for a catch up. I recognised that she probably didn't want me to see her, and while I respect that, I also wished I had tried harder. To add insult to injury, I couldn't attend her funeral.
M was one of those special people, you meet and you know instantly that you have found a member of your tribe. I think, selfishly, what upsets me the most is that I won't have this wonderful spirit in my corner anymore (not physically at least). In this war called life, I have lost one of the most valuable members of my army. I don't have a lot of people in my tribe, and M's absence is a massive void.
In a frantic letter I wrote to her before she passed, I told her that I see reminders of her everywhere. In encounters with strangers, in bold reds, Greek reminders, moments of compassion and sharp witted folk. God, how I will miss her.
Years ago, we went to see Gotye together - the show was held in some amphitheatre in the bush. There were so many rules - we had to abandon pillows and blankets, and we had to deal with pushy hipsters and assholes too. At the end of the concert, as the line of cars abandoning the empty stage stretched the horizon, we parked, turned up the music - opened all the doors to the car and danced in the dark field until the cars went away. That was a very M thing to do.
The last time we saw each other in the flesh - we'd spent quite a few hours together, had a meal and a good chat, she dropped me back at my hotel, and before she left, she hugged me so hard. I was crying my eyes out, she said "I love you" and I told her I loved her back. We held each other for such a long time. It wasn't long after that, that she texted me with the news of her cancer. I'm sure she knew that last time we met, I think she spared me, I think maybe she knew that was the last time we were going to see each other. I wish I'd known.
I don't know what happens to people when they die, but I refuse to believe they stop 'being'. I hope they go somewhere nice, where they don't have any bad thoughts anymore; a place where they don't have to worry about pain, fear or loss. Where their spirit is free to flit and meander wherever it so desires. Perhaps as we live we leave invisible star dust trails woven in the people and places we encounter. I keep M in my heart, and there she shall stay for as long as I am waking.
Good bye beautiful M.
..No one's ever lost forever
When they die they go away
But they will visit you occasionally
Do not be afraid
No one's ever lost forever
They are caught inside your heart
If you garden them and water them
They make you what you are
No one's ever lost forever
When they die they go away
But they will visit you occasionally
Do not be afraid
No one's ever lost forever
They are caught inside your heart
If you garden them and water them
They make you what you are.
~ Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra
I've been finding it difficult to come to terms with what a loss like this means to me, and to the wider world. You see, she was quite a wonderful creature. A fiercely loyal friend, passionate, caring, protective and unafraid. She was the first real friend I had that used "fuck" a lot, and it delighted me.
She was the kind of person, who really wanted to know how you were going when she asked; she didn't waste words; she didn't cower away from her differences to make her life easier. She was courageous - even before the cancer. The world positively needs more people like her in it, as do I.
My grief has been tinged with the sourness of guilt. We lived several hundred kilometres away - and since her diagnoses she would decline my haphazard requests for a catch up. I recognised that she probably didn't want me to see her, and while I respect that, I also wished I had tried harder. To add insult to injury, I couldn't attend her funeral.
M was one of those special people, you meet and you know instantly that you have found a member of your tribe. I think, selfishly, what upsets me the most is that I won't have this wonderful spirit in my corner anymore (not physically at least). In this war called life, I have lost one of the most valuable members of my army. I don't have a lot of people in my tribe, and M's absence is a massive void.
In a frantic letter I wrote to her before she passed, I told her that I see reminders of her everywhere. In encounters with strangers, in bold reds, Greek reminders, moments of compassion and sharp witted folk. God, how I will miss her.
Years ago, we went to see Gotye together - the show was held in some amphitheatre in the bush. There were so many rules - we had to abandon pillows and blankets, and we had to deal with pushy hipsters and assholes too. At the end of the concert, as the line of cars abandoning the empty stage stretched the horizon, we parked, turned up the music - opened all the doors to the car and danced in the dark field until the cars went away. That was a very M thing to do.
The last time we saw each other in the flesh - we'd spent quite a few hours together, had a meal and a good chat, she dropped me back at my hotel, and before she left, she hugged me so hard. I was crying my eyes out, she said "I love you" and I told her I loved her back. We held each other for such a long time. It wasn't long after that, that she texted me with the news of her cancer. I'm sure she knew that last time we met, I think she spared me, I think maybe she knew that was the last time we were going to see each other. I wish I'd known.
I don't know what happens to people when they die, but I refuse to believe they stop 'being'. I hope they go somewhere nice, where they don't have any bad thoughts anymore; a place where they don't have to worry about pain, fear or loss. Where their spirit is free to flit and meander wherever it so desires. Perhaps as we live we leave invisible star dust trails woven in the people and places we encounter. I keep M in my heart, and there she shall stay for as long as I am waking.
Good bye beautiful M.
..No one's ever lost forever
When they die they go away
But they will visit you occasionally
Do not be afraid
No one's ever lost forever
They are caught inside your heart
If you garden them and water them
They make you what you are
No one's ever lost forever
When they die they go away
But they will visit you occasionally
Do not be afraid
No one's ever lost forever
They are caught inside your heart
If you garden them and water them
They make you what you are.
~ Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra
Monday, April 4, 2016
settle
"Settle" by Vera Blue. Exquisite.
standing on this wire
makes me realise
I am alive
and I won't settle...
makes me realise
I am alive
and I won't settle...
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
thinking music
I'm having trouble putting words to thoughts, so here is an appropriate song in its place...
Montaigne is awesome. Enjoy.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
my heart is a clock
I'm not sure why, but this song makes me want to cry. This is quite the pity, because it's a gorgeous song.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
a Sunday kind of love
It's all getting very serious around my end of the woods. It seems I'm surrounded by folks who are making all sorts of mature commitments, like getting married and/or having babies. And while I'm terribly happy for these people, it also kindles that little loneliness candle I have tucked away.
While I'm day dreaming of a different life, or falling in immediate love with inappropriate, unattainable men (such as the lovely Italian stallion with the delicious melty-brown eyes who owns the restaurant I sometimes visit, 600kms away...) I've realised all I really want is a simple Sunday kind of love.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
she let go?
"She Let Go"
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
- Rev. Safire Rose
The very idea paints such a wonderful picture. Imagine, just for a moment - letting go of everything you thought - about yourself, about other people, about what you think other people think about you. Letting go of expectations, and should's and might haves and what-if's. I feel like if I could let go of all of these things, I might cease to exist, or perhaps float away on the breeze, like a bubble or a helium balloon.
Letting go... it's an idea that bears thinking about.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
- Rev. Safire Rose
Letting go... it's an idea that bears thinking about.
Monday, February 9, 2015
on the borderline
There's so much to like about this song...
I'm borderline good and I'm borderline bad
And I can't get rid of a tingling fear
You'd sort me out if my head gets clear
I live my life in shackles but I'm borderline free
I used to be blind and I still can't see
And I won't get around to a change of mind
As long as nobody breaks my stride...
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Elastic Heart
I've had the need for an elastic heart of late. It is currently in a kind of misshapen heap, sort of what happens when a pair of undies gets too old, and when they finally succumb to the scrap heap, the released elastic is bubbled, tired and breaking in parts.
I wonder if my heart will be the same again?
I wonder if my heart will be the same again?
Sunday, January 11, 2015
A Year in Review
So, it's been while. So long in fact, I had wondered if I would even remember how to do this. Good news though, it would seem I haven't slipped into premature senility just yet.
So, a fair bit has happened since we last met. I finally got out of that horrid workplace. So, I'm now in a totally new job, which has brought along with it more than a few challenges. Not sure that I've found my niche, but for the moment, as I find my feet, I am grateful to be in a workplace that values me.
My body and I continue to be at odds. Some days we stand eye-to-eye 'till one of us cracks, but then other days I'm waving the white flag from the floor. So, it's still a bit of a juggling act, and lot of mind-fuckery.
It's almost a year since I joined the world of online dating, and... well... the thing is - nothing has happened. Which makes this little fun fact, a little disconcerting...
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt got married! I would've taken a hyphenated name for you Joseph?!
And I found out these two pieces of news in the same week. It's been rough.
Still, we gotta keep moving. Until next time, "take a card, take a seat"...
So, a fair bit has happened since we last met. I finally got out of that horrid workplace. So, I'm now in a totally new job, which has brought along with it more than a few challenges. Not sure that I've found my niche, but for the moment, as I find my feet, I am grateful to be in a workplace that values me.
My body and I continue to be at odds. Some days we stand eye-to-eye 'till one of us cracks, but then other days I'm waving the white flag from the floor. So, it's still a bit of a juggling act, and lot of mind-fuckery.
It's almost a year since I joined the world of online dating, and... well... the thing is - nothing has happened. Which makes this little fun fact, a little disconcerting...
Every. Day? In The World vs. StrangeBird, the score is 1 to nil. Or is that 3 000 000 to 1. That's a lot of fucking zero's. The Supremes said "you can't hurry love", but Jesu - must I wait until I'm a pensioner?
Other news that has adversely affected me:
Joe Manganiello got engaged dammit. And...
Joseph Gordon-Levitt got married! I would've taken a hyphenated name for you Joseph?!
And I found out these two pieces of news in the same week. It's been rough.
Still, we gotta keep moving. Until next time, "take a card, take a seat"...
Sunday, July 6, 2014
are you there yet?
I was assisting in a group therapy program recently, when a lady known to us, but not part of our patient group tried to insert herself into the activity.
Even to the untrained eye, all it takes is one look to know there's a lot of darkness, loneliness, sadness behind that lady's eyes. Her stare vacant yet intense, her words rambling and desperate - maybe because she's constantly searching for someone to listen?
One of our group participants knows this lady. He takes me aside later and tells me how "lovely" she is and how much she likes to talk. "Some of us call her 'The Budgie'.... 'cause she never shuts up!" he tells me with a laugh.
I couldn't shake this from my mind. I wondered what had happened to her in life, to make her so jarring. She held an unnerving disharmony, that you know couldn't be shaken out. Not for all the therapy or pills in the world.
I feared becoming the "strange lady" myself someday.
And then I thought. Are we, each of us, just one bad experience away from tipping the scales of our life-shit into this realm of broken? Just one sharp blow in the right spot from being cracked beyond repair?
I never want to get to that place where I can't go back.
Even to the untrained eye, all it takes is one look to know there's a lot of darkness, loneliness, sadness behind that lady's eyes. Her stare vacant yet intense, her words rambling and desperate - maybe because she's constantly searching for someone to listen?
One of our group participants knows this lady. He takes me aside later and tells me how "lovely" she is and how much she likes to talk. "Some of us call her 'The Budgie'.... 'cause she never shuts up!" he tells me with a laugh.
I couldn't shake this from my mind. I wondered what had happened to her in life, to make her so jarring. She held an unnerving disharmony, that you know couldn't be shaken out. Not for all the therapy or pills in the world.
I feared becoming the "strange lady" myself someday.
And then I thought. Are we, each of us, just one bad experience away from tipping the scales of our life-shit into this realm of broken? Just one sharp blow in the right spot from being cracked beyond repair?
I never want to get to that place where I can't go back.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
"sometimes when I get lonely I think of you"
For today, my (ir)rational fear that the world will one day run out of great music is loitering in a dark corner somewhere far far from here, like the seedy character that it is.
If I was making a mix tape for you, this would be song number one. It is seriously stunning. Check. It. Out. Now.
Now.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
return to sender
Dear God,
I'd like to make a return please. Your conditions clearly stipulate that one is only given as much as they can handle. I don't know what the others have been saying, but I am not doing OK with this load you've given me. I think there's been some kind of mistake?
If you need me to fill out some kind of form, I'd be happy to oblige - but you have gotta take some of this crap off my hands. I don't know who you might be able to "redistribute" these things to - I'm hoping you might be able to recycle, or better yet, liquidate things altogether.
The incessant neck pain,
the never ending fucking headache,
the earache, the plantar fasciitis,
the fat pad atrophy (great sense of irony there bud; real nice of you to shrink the single most important piece of fat in my fat-rich body!)
the bad hair,
the big ugly feet,
that fingernail on my right hand middle finger that Just. Keeps. Breaking
the asshole boss,
the crooked nose,
the instinctive pull to eat my feelings,
the poor sleep,
the fear, the angst and all the sadness,
the complete and distinct void of purpose in my life
and that glorious innate reflex to run, anytime something seems remotely hard or uncomfortable or scary.
And you know what? To me, pretty much everything is scary.
Enough already. I'm waving the white flag. I just can't juggle this many things at once, truth be known I'm a terrible juggler - two things - tops!
For the love of all things good in the world, will you please give a girl a break and ease up? And, if you won't take anything back, will you at least send someone down here to help me out?
Kind Regards,
Me xx
I'd like to make a return please. Your conditions clearly stipulate that one is only given as much as they can handle. I don't know what the others have been saying, but I am not doing OK with this load you've given me. I think there's been some kind of mistake?
If you need me to fill out some kind of form, I'd be happy to oblige - but you have gotta take some of this crap off my hands. I don't know who you might be able to "redistribute" these things to - I'm hoping you might be able to recycle, or better yet, liquidate things altogether.
The incessant neck pain,
the never ending fucking headache,
the earache, the plantar fasciitis,
the fat pad atrophy (great sense of irony there bud; real nice of you to shrink the single most important piece of fat in my fat-rich body!)
the bad hair,
the big ugly feet,
that fingernail on my right hand middle finger that Just. Keeps. Breaking
the asshole boss,
the crooked nose,
the instinctive pull to eat my feelings,
the poor sleep,
the fear, the angst and all the sadness,
the complete and distinct void of purpose in my life
and that glorious innate reflex to run, anytime something seems remotely hard or uncomfortable or scary.
And you know what? To me, pretty much everything is scary.
Enough already. I'm waving the white flag. I just can't juggle this many things at once, truth be known I'm a terrible juggler - two things - tops!
For the love of all things good in the world, will you please give a girl a break and ease up? And, if you won't take anything back, will you at least send someone down here to help me out?
Kind Regards,
Me xx
Friday, May 30, 2014
river flows in you
I usually feel completely lost; utterly frozen in some ordinary life, scattered with just enough crap to make me sometimes sad. In flickering moments, dotted throughout the threaded line of my existence, I get a strange feeling, like this place in time was made just for me. I get a glimpse of the plan, like the Angels accidentally dropped their notes, and between blinks I get to see it, and know that maybe I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I'm learning all the time. And then, sometimes I regress, I hate where I am, and my situation. Like when my sore foot is being a bitch, or a migraine comes to visit, and stays awhile. But, I'm reading a lot about peoples versions of life, and pain, and peace - and I understand we all have our shit. I want to become a better, happier person, in spite of my shit, maybe even because of it. Wouldn't that be ironic?
And to you, The Boy Who Stopped, I realised that while meeting you was refreshing and scary, sort of like the rush of sensations you get when you slide into a really cold pool, I wasn't ready for anything more. I thought I might've been, but I wasn't. So it's sort of ok that you stopped talking. Because I don't know really who I am, and I don't like myself very much - and that's in the pile labelled 'shit I need to figure out' and I'll be forever locked out of the next stage of life until that job is complete.
So I'm a work in progress, and I suspect you are too. I do hope our paths will cross again, when the time is right.
I'm learning all the time. And then, sometimes I regress, I hate where I am, and my situation. Like when my sore foot is being a bitch, or a migraine comes to visit, and stays awhile. But, I'm reading a lot about peoples versions of life, and pain, and peace - and I understand we all have our shit. I want to become a better, happier person, in spite of my shit, maybe even because of it. Wouldn't that be ironic?
And to you, The Boy Who Stopped, I realised that while meeting you was refreshing and scary, sort of like the rush of sensations you get when you slide into a really cold pool, I wasn't ready for anything more. I thought I might've been, but I wasn't. So it's sort of ok that you stopped talking. Because I don't know really who I am, and I don't like myself very much - and that's in the pile labelled 'shit I need to figure out' and I'll be forever locked out of the next stage of life until that job is complete.
So I'm a work in progress, and I suspect you are too. I do hope our paths will cross again, when the time is right.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
going backwards
It feels like I only go backwards baby
Every part of me says go ahead.
I got my hopes up again, oh no... not again.
Feels like I only go backwards darling
This is melty-tone perfection. Alex Turner's voice is incredible. I could listen to this version all day.
Every part of me says go ahead.
I got my hopes up again, oh no... not again.
Feels like I only go backwards darling
This is melty-tone perfection. Alex Turner's voice is incredible. I could listen to this version all day.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Friday on my mind
It's cold outside, but I sit here snuggled and warm in my pastel pajamas. I lack the energy to think of anything remotely interesting to do on the weekend that lies before me - but the possibility alone keeps me high. I realise I give my heart secretly, but far too easily. I'll speak my truth if you dare to ask. I am alone, but tonight that is ok.
I found this brilliance while educating myself on all things Chet Faker. I promise I'll move on from him eventually.
I found this brilliance while educating myself on all things Chet Faker. I promise I'll move on from him eventually.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
to me
In the dark of night, as the rain lightly sprinkles on the tin roof above, I want to talk to him. But he's stopped listening. I told him it was my favourite sound, and now it's spoiled. Each pit-pat, pit-pat thuds my sodden hopes and reminds me of the void. I hate boys.
Except Chet Faker. I love Chet Faker.
Except Chet Faker. I love Chet Faker.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
driving in dreams
Last night I had a bad dream.
In this dream, I was driving this huge 4WD - it was awkward to handle, and hard to move - I was completely out of my depth. And then I tried to park it, and I had to park it in this tiny spot, amongst the nicer cars of people who didn't like me. And as I was trying to correct my parking, I ended up smashing into all these cars, causing a huge mess and uproar. I didn't know what I was doing, and people were angry with me. In the dream, I also drove this car in dark, unfamiliar streets and I felt scared, and alone.
In reality as I drove to work this morning, I thought about what the contents of this dream might mean. If I transferred the belief that driving in dreams is supposed to indicate how you are 'driving' in life - then, that would mean that loosely I currently find myself in uncharted territory, driving ideas and feelings I don't know how to manoeuvre. Which is true.
Yesterday I turned 31. The lovely moon decided to eclipse and turn red (only my favourite colour, since forever!), which I thought was a superb present, thank you moon and sun - although I couldn't appreciate it, being that I'm in Western Australia and us folks didn't have the greatest view. It didn't matter though, I knew something special was happening somewhere, and I was happy enough. After fare-welling visitors, inside I came to find a lovely butterfly sitting on the kitchen cupboards. A proper daytime butterfly with deep black wings, speckled with white dots. Once I got over the shock (almost mistaking it for a horrible moth - eek!) it felt like a present, just for me.
I'm managing a saga of a migraine headache at present, an almost unrelenting ping of pain from my neck into my head, and an insatiable appetite for sleep. And I'm just trying to do it all, while juggling thoughts about accepting myself in my 31st year, wondering if someone will think I'm worth their time, effort, love. And more importantly, whether I could ever think that of myself.
My two year old niece is in her 'abracadabra' stage - she twirls her finger and while shouting the word declares she has turned me into a frog! Today, I went to buy her a little toy wand, so she could practice her magic for real.
Remember being a child, and thinking anything was possible?
In this dream, I was driving this huge 4WD - it was awkward to handle, and hard to move - I was completely out of my depth. And then I tried to park it, and I had to park it in this tiny spot, amongst the nicer cars of people who didn't like me. And as I was trying to correct my parking, I ended up smashing into all these cars, causing a huge mess and uproar. I didn't know what I was doing, and people were angry with me. In the dream, I also drove this car in dark, unfamiliar streets and I felt scared, and alone.
In reality as I drove to work this morning, I thought about what the contents of this dream might mean. If I transferred the belief that driving in dreams is supposed to indicate how you are 'driving' in life - then, that would mean that loosely I currently find myself in uncharted territory, driving ideas and feelings I don't know how to manoeuvre. Which is true.
Yesterday I turned 31. The lovely moon decided to eclipse and turn red (only my favourite colour, since forever!), which I thought was a superb present, thank you moon and sun - although I couldn't appreciate it, being that I'm in Western Australia and us folks didn't have the greatest view. It didn't matter though, I knew something special was happening somewhere, and I was happy enough. After fare-welling visitors, inside I came to find a lovely butterfly sitting on the kitchen cupboards. A proper daytime butterfly with deep black wings, speckled with white dots. Once I got over the shock (almost mistaking it for a horrible moth - eek!) it felt like a present, just for me.
I'm managing a saga of a migraine headache at present, an almost unrelenting ping of pain from my neck into my head, and an insatiable appetite for sleep. And I'm just trying to do it all, while juggling thoughts about accepting myself in my 31st year, wondering if someone will think I'm worth their time, effort, love. And more importantly, whether I could ever think that of myself.
My two year old niece is in her 'abracadabra' stage - she twirls her finger and while shouting the word declares she has turned me into a frog! Today, I went to buy her a little toy wand, so she could practice her magic for real.
Remember being a child, and thinking anything was possible?
Sunday, April 13, 2014
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