Tuesday, December 27, 2011

woman of letters: to the man who (will) change(d) my life

One of my favourite letters in the "Women of Letters" book is from Eddie Perfect, who writes a letter to the woman who changed his life - his partner. Some of the quotes that I just can't forget:

"I may have a melancholy, sentimental streak wider than the widest bits of the Murray, but I find writing love songs the hardest. There's no sting and no hurt. There's no river of tears to dip the bucket into. Love songs go in by the front door, and I've always scrambled in through the laundry window.."

"I don't know what a family is, how to define it, other than as a collection of people who bind themselves together and get weirder and weirder... I read there's evidence that the moon was created when a giant asteroid shaved a chunk off the earth. That's a family. A broken bit of rock that gets its own name and develops its own gravitational pull."

"you have to kick the can down the street - always kicking it forward no matter the can and no matter the street, just keep kicking it on down. Deadshits don't kick the can anywhere and stomp on your can and never push anything forward."

I'm not sure I've encountered the man who has changed my life, so, instead, I write the imaginary man who hopefully will.

To the man who will change my life,
First of all, where the fuck are you and why have you kept me waiting for so long? (Sorry, that was a little forward, wasn't it? I suppose you're going to have to get used to that.)

I'm not sure who you are, or how we'll meet - but I think I have a pretty good idea about the kind of man you are. For one, you'll be special - you would have to be to make a dent in my existence; plus, you'd have to be a certain kind of 'special' to put up with my irregular brand of shit. (Wow, I'm really selling myself here, aren't I?)

I think you'll be the quiet man in the corner - the one surveying the lay of the land. A people watcher, like me. Perhaps I'll catch your eye, on one occasion, because I'm not like the rest of the girls in the room - perhaps I'll hold your eye for the same reason.

My quirks will make you like me even more.  You will recognise that I am hard work (sorry, I am) - but you will be persistent, because you are the kind of man who understands that tenacity is rewarded.

You will lighten my heart like I have never known; you will believe in me; always, but especially during the times I don't recognise myself. Oh yes, you will be special indeed.

And for all your special-ness, I will confuse you, and challenge you - and maybe make you want to run away... but you never will.

You will make me laugh; you'll be the yin to my yang - the up to my down.

And, for all of this, I will give you my heart - because that is all I want to do. All I have ever wanted to do was find you - perfect you - and give you my time, my laughter, my love notes. I know you'll be perfect, because you'll be for me.

I really wish you'd hurry your ass up - you'll come to know that I am impatient. Find me soon, ok?

SB xx

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