Thursday, March 17, 2011

He lingers

Today, I found out by pure chance, that John is actually still in town.  I figured he couldn't wait to see this place in his rear-view mirror.  There must be a reason he's stuck; he wouldn't be here by choice.

Which begs the question - why couldn't he come and say good bye to his workmates properly? Does he find the whole act of farewell so offensive that he can't bring himself to do it? Would he find it too painful? Does he just not give a crap?

Not that the answer really matters to me - it's just, funny. And disappointing. As adults, aren't we 'supposed' to start and end things in a certain way?

It's so pathetic to admit, but there's a part of me that imagines finding some secret correspondence from him that explains everything.  Something that makes it all better.  An email; a handwritten note left in an obscure place; a letter posted from afar.  Every time I see a strange envelope, my heart skips a beat. 

If I hold my breath, I think I'll die of oxygen deprivation. Or broken heart. Whatever.

SB xx

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