I can't actually remember the last time I read a book that compelled me to read it, and one too, that hit many nerves along the way.
It's an unassuming book by first appearances, but when the story about Patrick, a man who seemingly teeters on the line separating sanity from madness, unfolds, it hits you were it hurts. Because he's just like anyone, he's just like any one of us that snaps and makes a bad decision. And in his case, a decision which has dire consequences.
This book scares the shit outta me, because I think I could so easily make a Patrick decision. On those days, where I don't feel completely right, where I just want to be able to control things, even the small things, I can almost see myself being irrational like he was. This book resonates with me, and that fact alone, scares me.
Today, I heard that SpottyApple is leaving my work area and moving into another at the same premises. Ordinarily, this would've been ok with me (because I do wish she'd just piss off out of my general planetary vicinity) - but she's leaving us when things are about to head into a complete state of madness. This does not sit well with me; in the StrangeBird 'rulebook' this action screams selfish bitch.... and that's fine - because we all have our own rulebooks, but the problem is, I didn't really keep that internal. I reacted 'badly' and even though I stand by the way I feel, I wish I hadn't said what I said. I wish I had kept the guarded wall up, and bitten my tongue - even though what I really wanted to do was smack her upside that smug stupid face of hers. So, you see, that's how crazy people, like me, like Patrick - can make bad choices in the heat of the moment.
And this is how.. my day started. Fucktastic!
I'm going to keep my mouth shut and my wits about me, because there is no sense getting riled up about shitty people and their shitty decisions.
Peace, out -
SB xx
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