I am holding my ground. It may be unsteady ground, but it's mine, and I'm doing all I can to keep it. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I can't control everything; that I can't control people, or their reactions - despite my best efforts and purest intentions.
At work, my boss has finally arrived at the expected meltdown stage. She finds the staffing situation less amusing, now that she's in the thick of it. Her reactions intrigue me, because when she is faced with difficulty, she becomes paralysed by it. She is not productive, she will not listen to reason or rally. I find it ridiculous, and although I sympathise with, and understand her innate instinct to take 'flight', rather than 'fight' - I find it difficult to respect. Those of us that manage to keep our heads, fumble along as best we can. They will be interesting times ahead.
It is easier being at work, not having John there. I don't have to think about how I'm reacting to things, and I don't find myself wondering where he is, when he should be at his desk. Saying goodbye to the poisonous little snake that is SpottyApple will be positive I think. Although, I wish her departure were to a greater distance, and not just down the hall. Out with the bad, I say, and hopefully in with the good.
Seeing facebook updates of Johns travels is making me jealous. They make me itch to be in foreign places, and not here - replaying the same shit. I'm going to start saving up for a proper holiday/adventure. My passport is sitting there, waiting for it's metaphorical 'cherry' to be popped. It's time I stopped waiting on others to do it for me. I'll travel alone if I have to.
SB xx
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