Care Bare

With today's song I tried to upload the YouTube video, which was really good, but evidently too big, so instead you just get the words. It's from the legendary Paul Kelly, called "Careless".

How many cabs in New York City, how many angels on a pin?
How many notes in a saxophone, how many tears in a bottle of gin?
How many times did you call my name, knock at the door but you couldn't get in?

I know, I've been, careless

I've been wrapped up in a shell nothing could get through to me
Acted like I didn't know I had friends or family
I saw worry in their eyes, it didn't look like fear to me

I know, I've been, careless
I lost, my tenderness
I know, I've been, careless
I took, bad care of this

Like a mixture in a bottle, like a frozen over lake
Like a longtime painted smile, I got so hard I had to crack
You were there, you held the line, you're the one that brought me back...

I feel like I've been really careless with myself for a long, long time. And even today, still careless. But not in the sense that I am without worry - instead, negligent with myself, with my poor heart. It's not just unrequited John love here, although that's a big part - there's other ways I've been careless.

I had a reading done recently - a bit of mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-type-business and the results were interesting, but not entirely what I'd hoped. Like any impatient female, I want the answers, I want them now! But, to be fair, I feel like I've waited my entire adult life for answers that haven't arrived - so excuse me for wanting to hurry them along. Big things to show in the reading were that there would be an unexpected pregnancy around me, or with me (eeeek!!.... say it with me now... immaculate conception!); that there would be a career change for me because I'm unhappy where I currently am; that not right now, but before the years end I would find a man (and keep him, it would seem) and it would move fast and that by years end my life would be moving in a completely different direction. YAY for the changes and double YAY for the man and super triple YAY if it all comes to fruition.

SB xx