Saturday, June 22, 2013

bitch be raging

Things have become so outrageously out of hand in these recent times.  In my external environment, at work, it's like a topsy-turvy world where nobody makes sense.  I feel like I'm the only one stumbling around, scratching my head asking what the fuck is going on? Has everyone been body snatched? Where have all the good people gone?

Without too much detail, I've been trodden on one too many times, so it is now a desperate hunt for a new job.  I've been at my current job for almost six years, and these past months have been some of the most hurtful and upsetting thus far.  Every time something new happens, I shake my head and wonder why. Do I ask for these things?  Is there something in me that attracts rubbish people?

I'm such an easy mark too - not a great deal of confidence, not really assertive - I'd probably roll over if you asked nicely, and even if you didn't....

But for sobbing out loud (and I have been) isn't there any loyalty anymore? Respect? Decency?

Perhaps I expect too much from people? I do expect some shred of fairness from the world.  I do expect my everything to count for some thing.  But lately the world has shown me, no, no they fucking don't.  I can see it now, the universe wagging her index finger, tut-tut-tutting at me...

Why do I have such a 'warped' sense of the world? Because I'm a fundamentally good person - in spite of my frequent profanity use.

For too long I've let it slide - but now I realise I am actually worth more than the sum total of the collective assholes who think it's ok to shit on people, just because they can.  And I've decided - I'm not putting up with it anymore. I'm just not.  I'll move on.  And if the next bunch of people turn out to be turds, I'll move on again.  And I'll keep moving on and on, and on, and even if I don't stop moving until I find myself adopted into a pack of wolves, that's ok. Because I just don't want to be around people that make me feel bad anymore.  Life is too short.

I can't change the world, or the people in it - but I sure can control where I'm standing.

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