Tuesday, May 1, 2012

lessons in being awesome

Tonight was my first piano lesson.  A longtime 'one day' wish of mine has always been to play the piano.  I think it has something to do with the grace, skill and complete mindful state pianists seem to be able to access.  I like to imagine myself, someday, sitting at a beautiful glossy wooden piano - hair, dress and fingers flowing like spirits.  The mental ability to keep two hands moving in completely different ways, reading two lines of music and just 'knowing' where the keys are.  It seems such a long way away.  It seems impossible.  But then, I guess at 17, the thought of easing the clutch, accelerating, changing gears, changing lanes, flickers, lights, rules and steering all seemed too much as well. However now, I could drive asleep if I had to.

Until I can discover that musical genius within (if she does in fact reside somewhere in there), and until I can play as below - I must be content with the knowledge that I have right now. One step, one note, one page at a time. 

Interestingly, while waiting in the hallway for the lesson to start, I see a weathered, unassuming flyer clinging to life on the wall.  It calls for interest in a writing group.  I took down the number, I don't know if I'll have the balls to call it.  But sometimes in this life, when we are scrambling for signs and direction, screaming "for fucks sake - will someone just tell me what to do here?!".. sometimes a sign so delicate can be found in the oddest of places. It gives me a chill to think this elaborate set of decisions and meaningless chance - could all have led to that single flyer.  It could mean nothing, or it could mean anything.

Kismet is a keen musician, it seems.


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