Sunday, April 10, 2011

Things I learnt while sober in a pub

Lookout kids, it must be a blue moon tonight 'cause this little bird is escaping the coop for a little night out with the 'normal' people.

Before embarking, I looked upon it as a chance to prove to work folk that I am indeed normal-ish. I may or may not have helped this cause tonight.

Being the only sober person in a room full of intoxicated people is kind of a lonely place to find yourself. With nothing to blame my bad dance moves or poor behaviour on - it's a tougher spot to be in than one might think. There are of course positives to it... for instance, I will remember all the interesting things that dribbled from loose-lipped coworkers, and I can make logical, practical decisions; I can drive home - thus avoiding creepy taxi encounters and I will be able to fully enjoy the complete offerings of my Sunday.

Tonight was fun - I had a laugh, and listened to live music sung by a handsome man. I loosened up, had a dance and was the recipient of more occasions of bodily contact than my sober mind can recall. There was also a sadness about tonight... and if this, here, is the equivalent of (non-drunk) drunk-blogging then my secret to be revealed is that all I wanted the whole night was John. I found myself lingering in thoughts of what it might've been like had he been there. I miss him in many ways - especially on nights like this, where anything could have been possible. I find myself angry with him - because he was supposed to be here; he was supposed to be glancing at me across the crowded room as I giggled at the jokes of my drunken friend; he was supposed to innocently touch my back as we danced and sang along to karaoke; it was supposed to be you John, to offer to walk me to my car...not FreakyFriday coworker who always looks at me intently and makes lame jokes for my benefit. I was supposed to sing 'Mustang Sally' and fist pump to 'Livin' on a Prayer' with you and be around you; be with you. I don't want to meet some random in a bar... I just want you and I can't have you because you are 1000km's away and you do not want me. You couldn't even say goodbye. I hate you for that.

SB xx

No comments: