Sunday, January 9, 2011

pancakes and life shakes

There's nothing like hearing about the exciting plans of others to make you feel like your life has zero direction.

I went out for breakfast this morning for a catch up with an old workmate, and another mutual 'mate'. They both had exciting things to speak of, one is moving to the other side of the country to explore work options and I can't help but be a little jealous.

Ten years ago, when I was in a really bad head space, I wish I'd made some different choices. I wish I'd never changed my uni preferences at the 11th hour and I wish I hadn't backed out of uni altogether. Sometimes I feel like these were my defining moments - like this is where my life splits into two distinct roads.

Don't get me wrong - my life has led me along certain unexpected paths and there are things I think 'wow' when I look back. But it's during conversations like today - when I'm the uneducated third wheel in the equation; when I'm the only one not university educated, without an actual profession - it's times like that I say, geez, I could have done so much better... I was meant to do SO much better.

Still, I'll try not to take all of this as a kick in the guts... more a kick in the pants. It can be a starting point for working towards something. It's a time to make some goals - get this study done, save money for travels, think about the future. Maybe this bird is finally growing up?

SB xx

No comments: