I had another of those moments today - dissolved into sobbing tears about a bunch of little stuff that makes one big pile - I thought to myself, I'm not coping... I don't know what to do.
There has been upheaval in the house the past week. My Mum has been incapacitated, so I've been doing everything around the house - animal, mineral, plant and vegetable and it has brought with it a certain amount of stress and pressure. I've reached my threshold for shit at work too - so I'm getting frustrated there and making it known to certain people - which just makes me feel like a class 'A' bitch. I get left out of the 'cool kids' group, people don't answer my emails, my job is changing, my opportunity for handover is quickly diminishing, I want to hate John but I seem incapable, it's fucking hot in this desert hole of a place, I want to scream, I want to cry, the world - it NEVER revolves around me (not even a little), oh, and people - they are generally shit too. That about sums it up. Oh yeah - and I have to have a procedure done in the city on Friday - so it's 12 hours driving for me in the next 48 hours, to find out God knows what?!
I don't know what is going to fix this - because even the release isn't enough. I'm not ok and I don't know when I will be.