Nobody says it quite like Florence:
From 'Cosmic Love'
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Over and Out
Today was a bit rough. I think maybe I extended myself lastnight and have no words left to write. It's actually really challenging to write about myself and my day, without being specific. A long time ago, I thought about starting an online journal, but was so deathly afraid of getting sprung by 'someone' that I never did it. But now, older, wiser and thanks to a 150mg daily dose of effexor - I couldn't really give a shit! I mean, yeah, I do a little... but not so much anymore...
So, highlight of the day - seeing a dear old lady that I've had daily contact with for a couple of weeks - she grabbed my hand and thanked me for everything I had done for her. It was lovely; a shiny sparkling moment in an otherwise shit of a day. You forget just how much your actions can effect the people you come into contact with from day to day - it's corny, but also easy to understand how it is that a smile can be infectious - and sometimes so can a frown, and a bad attitude. I need to remember that more...
So, it's the weekend tomorrow - but we'll see how much of it belongs to me.
Something to end off my bad day and bad mood.
A list of things that shit me (in no particular order):
1. people who can't drive properly on roundabouts
2. people who are manipulative
3. people who forget they left high school 10 years ago
4. the fact life isn't fair
5. humid weather and it's particular effects on my hair
6. capsicums
... and there's more, but suddenly I can't recall them.
Bye for now. SB
So, highlight of the day - seeing a dear old lady that I've had daily contact with for a couple of weeks - she grabbed my hand and thanked me for everything I had done for her. It was lovely; a shiny sparkling moment in an otherwise shit of a day. You forget just how much your actions can effect the people you come into contact with from day to day - it's corny, but also easy to understand how it is that a smile can be infectious - and sometimes so can a frown, and a bad attitude. I need to remember that more...
So, it's the weekend tomorrow - but we'll see how much of it belongs to me.
Something to end off my bad day and bad mood.
A list of things that shit me (in no particular order):
1. people who can't drive properly on roundabouts
2. people who are manipulative
3. people who forget they left high school 10 years ago
4. the fact life isn't fair
5. humid weather and it's particular effects on my hair
6. capsicums
... and there's more, but suddenly I can't recall them.
Bye for now. SB
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Hammer of Hamate
Well, this is my first blogging experience. I'm not entirely sure how long I'll stick with it or if anyone will ever read it, but we'll see how we go. So, why start blogging now? I guess I thought maybe if I can get some words out, then they won't be filling my head all the time? So, lets call it an experiment of a therapeutic nature. How is this going to work I wonder? I am a notorious 'lone wolf' in life - I keep hold of my 'self' and my thoughts fairly tightly, I take a little time and a little effort to get to know - but I like to think I'm worth the trouble. I guess we'll see...
So for today, my title is lent from something new I learnt about. There is a little bone (one amongst many) that is in your hand - called the 'hamate'... and this little bone has sort of a hook attached to it, where the nerves pass through - anyway, this hook is referred to as 'the hook of hamate' - I thought it sounded kind of interesting. So, I hear you say "but you didn't call your blog 'hook' of hamate, you called it 'hammer' of hamate" - yes I know. To be honest, things in my life lately have felt more like hammers than hooks - hence the name.
So - these metaphorical hammers I speak of? OK, so in a nutshell, I'm in a job I used to love, with a couple of workmates I love to bits, most I don't trust and one I like a little more than I should. So, management has gone to shit - sometimes I think I am the only one that keeps everything together. One of my main allies at my workplace is going through some truly awful things at the moment, which are playing on my mind a lot. I have a crippling crush on a workmate and have had pretty much since he walked through the door ohhh - eight months ago maybe. Yep - ok a crush I hear you say... it gets worse. He didn't have a girlfriend when he started work, he does now and to really smash that old hammer down - she now works with us! Say it with me now.... FUCCCCKKKKKKKK!
Anyway - self pity aside I get through the days. I know it's not the worst thing in the world - but you know when you have a crush, and you think like maybe you love this person, and you can't stop thinking about them, and you think like maybe, if you both get beyond this awkwardness, things could possibly be awesome. Well, it would seem life had another plan for me. I know, if you're reading this you're probably thinking - get over it already - and I tell myself the same quite regularly. However, I'm chronically single and this guy breathed fresh air into me for a while and now it's gone and dead and I'm walking around in a semi-zombie state.
Well - whatever right? If you prescribe to the idea, like I do most of the time, that things happen for a reason - then this is the way it's supposed to be. So, I suck it up and try to move on.
There's other stuff... but I'll save it for later. Oh, and I know my blog title is weird. I'll explain it someday if I'm still around.
Bye for now. SB
So for today, my title is lent from something new I learnt about. There is a little bone (one amongst many) that is in your hand - called the 'hamate'... and this little bone has sort of a hook attached to it, where the nerves pass through - anyway, this hook is referred to as 'the hook of hamate' - I thought it sounded kind of interesting. So, I hear you say "but you didn't call your blog 'hook' of hamate, you called it 'hammer' of hamate" - yes I know. To be honest, things in my life lately have felt more like hammers than hooks - hence the name.
So - these metaphorical hammers I speak of? OK, so in a nutshell, I'm in a job I used to love, with a couple of workmates I love to bits, most I don't trust and one I like a little more than I should. So, management has gone to shit - sometimes I think I am the only one that keeps everything together. One of my main allies at my workplace is going through some truly awful things at the moment, which are playing on my mind a lot. I have a crippling crush on a workmate and have had pretty much since he walked through the door ohhh - eight months ago maybe. Yep - ok a crush I hear you say... it gets worse. He didn't have a girlfriend when he started work, he does now and to really smash that old hammer down - she now works with us! Say it with me now.... FUCCCCKKKKKKKK!
Anyway - self pity aside I get through the days. I know it's not the worst thing in the world - but you know when you have a crush, and you think like maybe you love this person, and you can't stop thinking about them, and you think like maybe, if you both get beyond this awkwardness, things could possibly be awesome. Well, it would seem life had another plan for me. I know, if you're reading this you're probably thinking - get over it already - and I tell myself the same quite regularly. However, I'm chronically single and this guy breathed fresh air into me for a while and now it's gone and dead and I'm walking around in a semi-zombie state.
Well - whatever right? If you prescribe to the idea, like I do most of the time, that things happen for a reason - then this is the way it's supposed to be. So, I suck it up and try to move on.
There's other stuff... but I'll save it for later. Oh, and I know my blog title is weird. I'll explain it someday if I'm still around.
Bye for now. SB
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)