The Dependables

I don't think that there is anything wrong with being considered a 'dependable' person; clearly it's quite a convenient way to be, for all concerned. Yet, it's funny that the 'non-dependables' of this world can make it seem as if it's the worst way to be. It's always as if I'm five seconds away from being cornered by a bunch of 'cool kids' and called a "square!" But, it's also amusing that it's people like me, who are the ones cleaning up the messes that those same 'cool kids' make. I don't think it's any surprise dependable and dependant are so similar in form. It's as simple as, can you depend upon yourself? Or do you depend on others?

Speaking as a 'dependable', there are some clear drawbacks to being this way. People always expect you to be this way. You aren't considered entitled to have a meltdown, and if you do, you surely must be strange. It's also that you start to feel like the 'Mum' of the group - never really in the thick of things, because like when you were a kid hanging out with your friends, the last thing you wanted was Mum tagging along. It gets way too easy to be taken for granted too. If you're firing at 100% all the time, people start to expect nothing less, and having an off day becomes a non-optional, non-extra.

This is the kind of position I find myself in at work. I'm punctual and I'm logical, hard working, attentive and dedicated - I guess the walking definition of dependable. It's real easy to take people like this, like me, for granted, because we don't make you work hard at relating to us. We do what we do, not because of any kind words you've said, but because it's the way we are made.

What sucks is that people take advantage of this; and it's the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that simply being yourself, having high standards, being good at what you do - seems to signal to some people as an invitation to use you up.

I remember back in high school, during an Early Childhood class of all things, we were having a group discussion around the table. This off-beat, loud girl called Margie blurted out that if I died, she would "totally be sad about it". I didn't know what to think then, and to be honest - I still don't - but thanks Margie... I think!?

Dependable might be one of the many things I am - but I'm not going to be defined by it, have it pinned to me like it's all I am. I'm changing gear now, at work - I think it's time to loosen some rope and see what people do with it.

SB xx