I'm not feeling particularly joyous tonight. I think it has something to do with my arrival back into reality. I'm back at work next week, and I kind of don't want to be. I know there will be chaos and disorder awaiting me, and I'm not the sort that likes those things. It will also be the last week with John around before he goes away for around a month. Life is easier when he's not around, but different. Aside from that, obviously one less worker, means more work for those of us left behind.
I've also got some residual annoyance at a 'friend'. We haven't spoken for months - we went away together at the start of the year and we had some tense moments and clashes. I tried to clear the air and sort it out afterwards (and by that I mean, call her on her shit) - she lied and said there was nothing wrong.... but here we are 7 something months later - and I get nothing; aside from seeing the usual dumb ass, vague facebook status updates she likes to inflict upon us. So I'm angry. I'm angry because I have always been her sounding board - always. So, I'm really fucking angry that she just chooses to brush me aside, without the balls to tell me why? I figure she'll coming running someday, when she's having a rough time, like she's done time and time again... and maybe, I won't be so quick to lend an ear.
I'm sorry - I don't like playing the bitter and scorned - I usually try to put those sorts of feelings out of my consciousness. But I'm just essentially shat off, and it's manifesting now.
So I just gotta say it, because it'll make me feel better....
Fuck you 'S'. Seriously - FUCK YOU!
Ahh.. better.
SB xx
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