My father has been watching too much MasterChef. Tonight, I caught him playing with imaginary air food, trying to plan out how he was going to "plate up" his dinner. Then, he started to rationalise, in a dinner-table conversation with my mother, the balancing of the flavours he used. Dear God.
Not too sure what to write about tonight. Still feeling like I'm a round peg trying to fit into the square hole that is my reality. I feel removed from the people at work. I don't think I'm much accepted, and I feel like anytime I'm invited to anything, I am just tagging along as a sympathy invite. I went out last night to a local game night thing - it was awkward at the table, at first, but ended up ok. I just don't know how to talk to people my own age. I'm completely out of touch, and if I'm not talking about work, I got nothing. Although, funnily enough, MasterChef has provided me with some conversation action lately - so I guess I shouldn't bag it so much; even if it has turned my Dad into a wannabe food critic?
There's been some talk within the family (not 'The Family' with the Mob connotations) about moving to the city. We've had moments like these before, that have come and eventually passed. They usually freak me out - because I don't really see myself in the city. And even though I am 27years old, I can't imagine not being in the same place as my immediate family. This goes especially since my nephew came along. I love him more than anything else, and even though he's too young to rationally converse with, I feel like I need to be near him. I need to protect him, I need to know that he grows happily, balanced. I want to see the person he becomes. There would be a lot of downfalls and learning curves to moving away, but there are also a few pluses - like I'd be able to study. Not to say this all doesn't freak me out. Leaving the only place and home I've ever known scares me - but when I think about it, there's nothing really tying me here is there?
Decisions, decisions...
SB xx
No comments:
Post a Comment