Origins & Endings

I'm back in the land of blogging after a tiny hiatus; and how exciting that this should be my 100th blog!! It might not be much, but I believe you have to celebrate the small things.

So, in a nutshell, I was away for a couple of days. I had a minor procedure done (no, nothing involving botox, plastic, a vacuum for fat, or tattoo needles - sadly) and now I have to wear an awful shitty compression stocking on my leg for weeks, and weeks and I fucking hate it already!

I had a disturbing dream while I was away, and it was about this very blog. I dreamt that my blog made it onto the news, and my identity was revealed to my sister! I totally freaked; firstly I was excited that my workings had reached the outside world, but knowing that my sister had linked me to this other 'version' of me was scary, and knowing that news would quickly spread of my identity scared the crap out of me. In my dream, I started to think that I would have to leave work, I'd have to remove some postings before my sister or family saw them! Oh the drama - my heart is palpitating again at the very thought!

So, record number 100. I said on my first entry that I might explain where the blog title came from, and I think this occasion is fitting for such a story. With the most sincerity I can muster, I hope that I haven't already explained this (and if I have, I truly can't remember - and that's frightening!)

One evening, some years ago, when I was young and naive I was watching TV with my Dad. A TV ad came on, advertising an upcoming 'B' grade' movie that would be screening - this movie was called "Heart Full of Rain". My Dad said something like "What a shit movie title! What is that supposed to mean? It makes about as much sense as a shoe full of snot!". His rant caught my attention, gave me a giggle and stirred my creative juices - I declared at that moment that if I were to ever write a book someday, I would call it "Shoe Full of Snot" in remembrance of that moment, my Father and a general ode to ridiculous-ness. When I was young, I had dreams about being creative and special and generally amazing; now at 27 the dreams are still there, but somewhat dampened and wrinkled. This blog is the closest I have come (yet!) to writing a book, which is why, if this is the only part of me that enters the world, it had to be called "Shoe Full of Snot". And if this the only part of me that gets recorded in space, time and lettering, then that is ok with me.

SB xx