I have been reading about ridiculous girly things to stop myself from noticing the obvious elephant herd in the room. I am feeling quite low this evening. It seems a common thread for me lately, oh misery; poor miserable StrangeBird.
I'm trying not to wade in the deepening waters of self pity.
What has got me in such a state? - I think mostly, my conversation with Red last week - I know she's completely right. 'John' also messes with my head, but I am resigned to release him - clearly he's not good for me. I just have to remind myself that he's the one missing out, not me - sometimes that's hard to believe though. I hate him. I hate him.
I am eating myself stupid - chocolate, chocolate - like it makes me feel better - yes, for a second and then BANG.
Fuck I'm such a mess. I'm up and down like a yo-yo.
I think I really need a break. I feel like getting away on my own - I just need to save some money instead of spending it all in another one of my unhealthy compulsions. Perhaps the parentals will give me some of their frequent flyer points?... ah, I'm going to look into it. Do you suppose there are special holidays designed for desperate singles? I'm almost too afraid to type it in the search engine.
I'm sorry - if you have stumbled upon my blog and have been reading about my sorry state, please give me some time and I'll get my humour back. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce right?
SB xx
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